The Ex Vows, by Jessica Joyce

The Ex Vows by Jessica Joyce

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I did not hate “The Ex Vows”, but I found Georgia and Eli so persistently irritating that the novel never became more than a frustrating, middling read. Jessica Joyce still knows how to write atmosphere, banter, and emotional history, and the wedding-disaster setup gives the book enough momentum to stay readable. But the romance itself kept getting in its own way, and after a while I was less invested than exasperated.

Georgia is frustrating in a very specific manner. She is so afraid of her own feelings, and so terrified that another attempt at this relationship might fail, that her caution gradually hardens into monotony. I understood where that fear came from, but understanding it did not make it any less irritating to watch her retreat from feeling over and over again. The novel clearly wants that fear to read as emotionally rich, yet for me it mostly read as repetitive.

Eli annoyed me even more, because the book insists on the depth of his love while repeatedly showing how easily he slips out of responsibility. He does not merely hesitate. He makes Georgia responsible for drawing the line that he himself will not hold.

»In thirty seconds, you’re not going to want this, and I can’t pull away, so you’re the one who has to.«

That is exactly the kind of move that made him so maddening to me. He presents his lack of self-control as honesty, but the practical effect is that she has to do the difficult part for both of them. Later, when the novel lets Georgia name the deeper grievance, it lands because the groundwork has been laid.

»you let me leave you without a fight«

This is also why the book did not work for me either as a second-chance trope or as a slow-burn romance. I do not especially like either trope to begin with, and here both are stretched too far. Five years of unresolved pain plus pages of hesitation did not feel deliciously tense, only wearying. And I do not buy the claim that this has no third-act breakup. After their intense week together, the book still drops them into a not-really-together limbo that absolutely counts as a kind of breakup, or at least a deferral severe enough to feel like one.

»I need your friendship. I need that to be enough for us, at least for now.«

Compared with “You, with a View” (review), which I found warmer, more generous, and much more persuasive emotionally, “The Ex Vows” feels strained. The prose is smooth, the wedding chaos is entertaining, and there are good moments throughout, but the novel mistakes prolonged emotional paralysis for irresistible romantic tension. For me, the more interesting romance lies somewhere in the middle.

Three stars out of five.



Ceterum censeo Putin esse delendam




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